Stop beating yourself up.
If you screwed up (AGAIN!), it's ok, you can try next time...even though if you have screwed up this time round, you know that you're going to get crapped out for it.
You're not perfect, and you shouldn't be expected to be perfect. Seems like you're on earth to screw up more than most people...and that is ok, because you might actually teach the screwed up people in this world a thing or two about not being scared to screw up in this 'pretentious and so-called-perfect' world of ours. Keep on trying, even though it may seem that you are not getting through to people because you are considered (and proudly so) a black sheep.
Carry on being your black sheep self...you'll eventually get to where you want to be, even though it may take you a little bit longer than other people.
Another note to self: Stop thinking! You're getting yourself too worked up again!
From your frustrated self,